Today’s Alter Ego comes from Wendy. She writes: “When I heard the barista scream out the name ‘Wench’ I just knew she must be talking about me!”

Somewhere in the basement of my parents’ condo in Calgary is a box that says “Apple II+.”  And in the box there’s a floppy disk containing my best-ever computer programming achievement: a computerized version of “Wheel of Fortune.”

Foolishly, I visited the M&M store to buy M&Ms last night. I had a very specific M&M need: My daughter Lucy was doing a school project that required a large quantity of green candy. We’d been past the M&M store and knew it featured a section where you could create your own color mix. So I took one of the plastic bags they supply and filled it about half full.  Impressed with my blend of three colors of green M&Ms, I headed toward the cashier. She weighed the bag and said, calmly: “That’s 44.91. Cash or credit?”

Today’s Starbucks Alter Ego is a Pat’s Papers first. Reader Colleen says she’s amassed so many alter egos that she’s started an online album. But her favorite (and ours) is the one that was correctly spelled until the barista decided at the last minute that things were looking a little too…correctly spelled. Colleen’s advice: “Always trust your instincts, dude.”

Mary is one of the most common names on the planet. It is, however, not the name of Pat’s Papers reader Perri. She writes: I’ve been to Starbucks about three times in past four weeks and every time they write down my name as “Mary”. I don’t mind but if an actual Mary pops up and steals my alter ego drink, it will probably ruin my morning.” That’s when you start calling yourself ‘Bob’, Perri, and pick up that tall vanilla latte with your new alter ego on it.

I was connected to famed fashion blogger Leandra Medine (The Man Repeller) this weekend on Twitter. She’s a fan of my morning show on NY1. Somewhere in that exchange of messages I promised to read her blog aloud.

This morning, we got an email from Jeff. He had just returned from Starbucks and noticed that “Jeff” was not the name written on his iced Grande Americano. So here it is folks, Jeff’s official apology to “Amgand S.” for stealing his/her/its coffee.

Reality TV has nothing on real-life reality. A gay soldier who’s been uploading YouTube videos with his face obscured decided, with the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, that he should finally tell his father he’s gay. He posted the video online early today.

Strange things happen in strange cities, like this Alter Ego, submitted by Pat’s Papers reader Caroline. She writes: “My parents just flew in to NYC and stopped at a midtown Starbucks. My mom’s name is Marlene, but my dad grabbed this drink for her anyway.” Turns out, it was hers…