Today’s Starbucks Alter Ego, In Story Form

Tuesday, 22 March 2011 | by Pat's Picks

In lieu of an actual picture, today we have a story from a former barista that might perhaps, shed some light on how to avoid a Starbucks alter ego. Pat’s Papers reader Elisabeth doesn’t have a photo of a mislabeled beverage—instead she serves up a story that she says is “100% true.” The story, in Elisabeth’s words, is below:

Several years ago, I worked at a Starbucks in Indiana that was in a smallish town but close to a highway, so we got a lot of traffic from people just passing through. We didn’t mark names on cups, but apparently some locations did. One day an older gentleman came in and ordered a drip coffee. I was working the register (that person also gets the drip coffee), so I asked him the normal question when someone orders a plain coffee: “Would you like room for cream and sugar [at the top of the cup]?”

This man leaned over the counter toward me, looked me squarely in the eye, and said, “DICK.”

I was very taken aback, and said, “Excuse me?”

He leaned in further and said, “DICK! How much more simple could it get? Dick. Dick!!”

Completely flustered, I tried again. “So do you want cream and sugar in your coffee?”

He stared at me. “Is that what you just asked me?”

“Yes.”

“Oh! I thought you wanted my name to write on the cup!”

After he left, I laughed and laughed about it with my coworkers (who were hiding and laughing while I handled the guy alone), but at the time I thought I’d found the dirtiest old man in Indiana.

So you know, that’s always an option if the barista keeps getting your name wrong—change it to something uncomfortable and yell it in the barista’s face.

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